When is a good time to give a promise ring?
Promise rings are commonly used to show sign of commitment. I don't understand why there should be "a good time" I feel like that's just saying "when is it socially acceptable." People use to get married at 16 way back in the day. Love hasn't changed, society's view have. Is the way I'm feeling for my boyfriend any different than what they were feeling back then? Promise rings show the desire of a very long-term commitment to someone, even the desire to marry someone in the future. This can take years of dating. Promise rings are special, don't throw them around just to anybody because that ruins the magic. With that being said, promise rings are not engagement rings. If you give someone a promise ring and something horrible happens, you can still decide to break up. You're not trapped once you give/recieve a promise ring. It's rather a reminder of what the future has in store. Promise rings are good to give when you're a teenager. When you know you plan on marrying someone but you just need to wait for everything to be in place; such as finishing school, starting a career, etc. Promise rings are less common after college because by then it's engagment rings. So if you're lucky enough to find the man/women of your dreams while you're young, don't be afraid to put a (promise) ring on it.
How do you deal with meeting the parents? How do you act, what do you wear? When is it the right time to meet their family?
Girl, I met both of Shaun's parents on our very first date only a week into our relationship. It's never too early to meet their parents. Of course, it's their decision when they want to introduce you and I didn't really have a choice. Meeting your S.O's parent's can be scary. I, myself, was freaking out. I just didn't want them to not like me. But the best advice I got was to just act myself. You're probably like "duh" but most people try to act how they think the parent's would like them to act. Just be yourself. Be respectful, smile, answer questions honestly, and don't go over what to say. Don't over think it because then you'll get really nervous and you might do something embarassing. Just breathe and relax.
Wear something school appropriate. If it's not appropriate for school, it's not appropriate for meeting the family. Make sure your clevage is covered and that you're wearing something nice, rather than basketball shorts.
How do you know when your boyfriend isn't the one?"
This is a really messy subject because I don't want to be the reason why someone breaks up with their partner. I believe that there isn't really just one "the one". Many people you meet in life can be "the one". If you feel like you really love someone and that they're your soul mate, don't give up too easily. Communicate and compromise.
Here are some signs that you need to rethink your relationship:
Do you and Shaun ever have rough patches? How do you get past these?"
Every relationship has their fair shares of rough times. It's an important part of the journey. These moments can tell you a lot about someone and how they deal with things. To say that Shaun and I never argue is far from the truth. We argue all the time. But at the same time we know the goal in our relationship and we both understand that breaking up is not an option. We communicate our feelings, we make sure that we listen and comprehend what the other is saying, we compramise, but with all of these; we love. You have to truly love eachother to have enough strength to fight through any bump. That's what makes or breaks a relationship.
Here is the outline of how we get past things:
So I went to Snapchat to ask my friends any questions they had about love, relationship, etc. The feedback I got was great and I think I'll do it more often for other topics...
Why does a guy make you think that he likes you but then doesn't? Like stop messing with my feelings"
Boys are dumb! No I'm totally joking because this goes to both genders but I get what you're saying. Don't be the weak one. If you think a guy is playing you, if you think what he's saying isn't true, or if you have reason to believe that he's purposely messing with your feelings then stand up for yourself. Don't sit there and take this kind of behavior because if you don't stop it, they'll go and repeat the same things to another person. Don't just talk to your friends and groan about how this person's mistreating you, actually tell that person off. Politely of course. If he doesn't change, just drop him. No person is worth stressing over if they don't treat you like the queen you are.
How do you know when you're having safe sex"
Oh, yikes I don't even know if this is even school appropriate but okay. Little disclaimer, I'm not a doctor.
I'll summarize safe sex: condoms and other birth control methods.
Safe sex is used to reduce the risk of getting STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Use a condom every time you have sex whether or not you're the pill. "One night stands" and such.. just don't do them. The risk of you contacting an STD just skyrockets. I mean lets be real, at the heat of the moment are you really gonna ask "Oh by the way, do you have any sexually transmitted diseases?" Probably not.
What can you do to make your boyfriend/girlfriend feel special?"
This is different from person to person but in general it's showing that you care about them, that you listen to what they say, and they're one of (if not the) most important person in your life.
How do you not wanna get with other guys like there's so many hot guys"
I find this question so hilarious, mainly because the girl who asked this is one of my bestfriends. Let's get things straight, I love my boyfriend. He's amazing and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Now to say that I don't find other guys nice looking because I'm in a relationship is mildly wrong. Channing Tatum is hot. Like really hot. That dude from dutch bros had a really cute smile. The model with green eyes I found on Forever 21's website had really hot tattoos. You don't shut down completely, you still think other guys are good looking. It's just now, you don't feel the need to start anything. You don't want to talk to them or get their number. They might be nice to look at but being with them is a whole different story. Because thinking a guy is hot and being in a relationship with a guy who you think is hot are two different things. Being in a relationship isn't just about physical appearances; it's about how they make you feel and how they treat you. Because at the end of the day everyone gets old and wrinkly but when you find someone who makes you laugh, makes you feel all warm inside and at home, now why would you do anything to risk losing that?
I get a lot of questions from my friends about my relationship with Shaun and even when I announced my relationship q&a on snapchat. I want to keep these answers as simple and short as possible because I try to keep my relationship as private as I can. There were too much to put all in one post so I picked a few that I liked.
When did you and Shaun meet?"
Shaun and I were in 4 of the same classes during 9th grade. I didn't really start talking to him until 3 months before school ended when we were planning a surprise goodbye party for our Helix teacher.
Was it love at first sight?"
I thought he was really cute but "love" at first sight? No. It wasn't until after I really started talking to him that I really got into the idea of even dating him.
What's the worst and best part of your relationship?"
Worst part would be that neither of us drive so we don't hang out as much as I'd like.
Best part.. that's really hard to choose. I love every aspect of my relationship. Even when we're fighting.
Have you ever had any problems with ex's? How'd Shaun take that?"
I'm pretty independent when it comes to dealing with 'bug infections.' I'd tell him what happened and of course he's not happy about it but at the same time we've talked about things like that and he knows I'm not going anywhere.
How come I never see you at parties anymore?"
I go to HeLa. Saturday study sessions for AP Calculus are my parties. In all seriousness, I know how worried Shaun gets when I'm out at night and I'd rather not have him stress over my safety. I just don't feel the need to go out and get crazy anymore.
Ever since I got into a relationship, I've noticed how so many other people are in a relationship too. It's like everywhere I turn, a couple's canoodling. Kinda gross but I have no room to talk.
I have so many girlfriends that always say "I wish I had a boyfriend" and I was one of those girls too. I thought that I had everything in line and that the only thing I needed left was a guy to complete me. Oh how completely wrong I was. As much as I love my boyfriend, life was much easier being single. I felt in control. So to all my lovely single pringles out there, here's what you should be enjoying now before you get into a relationship: from someone who just recently got into one after being single for two years.
It's All About You
You don't have to worry about anyone other than you. Whatever you do: go out for the night, hang out with someone, or think the future. You don't have to worry about how someone else would feel. When I was single I'd go out almost every weekend. I'd be more open to different opportunities; I wouldn't be influnced to do something because of my feelings for someone.
More Time With Friends
The most common advice for teenagers getting into a relationship is to not put your boyfriend before your friends. "Sisters Before Misters" they'd say because when you two break up, guess who'll be there to comfort you? Your girlfriends. Rather then going out on dates and texting all the time, you'll have more time to spend with your friends and build stronger friendships that would most likely last longer than your relationship.
More Money For You
Some couples are very good with financial communication. But lets face it, you're bound to spend money on your S.O. Birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, Valentine's Day presents, and don't get me started with anniversary gifts. This is especially frustrating when you don't have a job yet. When you're single, the money you earn will be money you can spend on yourself.
You're In Charge Of Your Happiness
No boyfriend? No problems.
Being in a relationship can be such an emotional rollercoaster sometimes. And while I have very good communication with my boyfriend about my feelings, there's no doubt that he makes me upset at times. When you're in a relationship, everything your significant other does can affect your mood. That's why I alway stress about being happy with yourself before you try to be happy with someone else.
That's why I tell people to be cautious about going into a relationship with someone who might not be emotionally stable because you might just make it worse.
Finding yourself, by yourself.
Your teenage years and even most of your 20's will be dedicated on finding yourself. Finding what you like in people and things. Being single most of these years will guarantee that you'll find yourself. Who you really are. Not who your boyfriend/girlfriend wants you to be. Being in a relationship can very much influnce who you are, what you like, and what you do.
So many family members always emphasis the need of focusing on school. To get into a good college and building a life for yourself. Without good communication, a relationship can often get you sidetracked. This is one of my biggest problems, something I really need to work on. Texting your S.O rather than doing homework or prioritizing your relationship before your education. "Don't date in highschool, focus on your schoolwork" many teens would hear. Succeeding in highschool is so important, don't let your feelings for someone else distract you from achieving your goals.
Now that Thanksgiving is over, everyone's raving about Christmas. With winter break just around the corner, it's time to start planning fun dates to make every day of the break worth while. As a high school student, I'd rather not drop a ton of money on dates especially with Christmas just a few weeks away and having to buy everyone gifts. So here are my top five must-do winter dates that won't break the bank:
Ice Skating Double Date
So last Wednesday, me and Shaun went on a double date with two of our close friends (Chris and Carson) who've been dating for a year and a half now. Neither Shaun nor Chris were any good at ice skating so it was a pretty entertaining challenge to teach them how to skate. If you're lucky enough to have a mall near you that has an ice rink inside of it, then say hello to the most instagram-worthy winter date! Most malls decorate their space up for the holiday season so it's perfect for those "#relationshipgoals" photos or videos you've been dying to show off on social media. Hold hands with your S.O in this quintessential winter date. It's so much more fun when you go with friends so double date, triple date, or quadruple date!
Sledding 'n Snacks
Dinner and a movie? That's so adult-y. Let your inner child out with this "winter picnic" date. Bundle up in your warmest jacket, find anything around the house that you can use as a sled, bring lots of snacks and the warmest blanket you have. You can even stock up on your favorite christmas movies to watch on your phone. Then hit the steepest hill you can find. What's better than clutching each-other from the fear of hitting a tree? After you're done playing in the snow, snuggle up in a warm blanket and watch some movies in the car. Don't forget to bring hot coco!
Okay before you start snoring, just keep an open mind. Art museums are actually really interesting. Whether you admire the artistic statement behind the project or squint your eyes to try to figure out what the heck it's suppose to represent, going to an art museum with your date will bring out a humorous imagination that makes the night bound to end in laughter. Most art museums give free admission to children 17 years and under. So with the money you just saved, stay in that creative spirit by trying out a new diner you haven't been too or cook a dinner from a different culture.
Price: Free (basically)
This date is perfect if you two are super competitive and love food. Instead of going out to a cliche restaurant that you've probably had similar food of, why not have a cook off? First person to throw up loses. Totally kidding. There's many ways to have a cook off. You can pick a specific category like "ice cream sandwich" and whoever makes the best one wins or you can have a time limit to cook a certain dish and whoever completes it first wins. For this date you might need to bug a parent or a sibling to judge who made a better dish but I don't think they'd complain. This date could totally be free if you use food you already have at home (well, your parents would be buying it but it's free for you) or you can limit $15 each to get food from the grocery store.
Price: Free or under $15
Whether you two have been dating for 6 months or 6 years, making a memory box is definitely a must-do for any relationship and it's pretty much free. While you can do this any day of the year, it's great for those cold and snowy days where all the stores are closed for the holidays. So bundle up in front of the fireplace and start hunting for things to put in your memory box. Hopefully, you've kept some stuff through your relationship. The movie tickets to your first date, the wrist band to when you went ice skating, or the post cards he sent you when he went on vacation. Write letters for the future. Love letters for him to read years down the road, captions to remember the memory behind the picture. Now THAT would be a precious date night.
Price: $10 (to print out photos)
RIANNE Del Carmen
My biggest goal in life is to just live it. To enjoy every moment and find the beauty in all things. So I write to inspire others. Not to just enjoy life but to better themselves. To become a better student, a happier person, and a more loving human. With tips and stories, I hope to help you through all the rough edges.